May 2013
13 posts
Subtle Differences
Urban: !CRASH! “I’m OK!”
Beringer: !CRASH! “It’s OK!”
April 2013
21 posts
Rich
Urban: (upon discovering what the tooth fairy left him) “oh my gosh. Oh my gosh!! We’re rich! She left me a gold piece! We’re rich!”
Me: “yay! That’s worth a WHOLE DOLLAR!”
Urban: “wait. A dollar? But this is GOLD.”
Me: “Right it’s worth a dollar!”
Urban: “So are we rich or not?”
Rich
Urban: (upon discovering what the tooth fairy left him) “oh my gosh. Oh my gosh!! We’re rich! She left me a gold piece! We’re rich!”
Me: “yay! That’s worth a WHOLE DOLLAR!”
Urban: “wait. A dollar? But this is GOLD.”
Me: “Right it’s worth a dollar!”
Urban: “So are we rich or not?”
clientsfromhell:
After a particularly aggravating project was completed…
Client: Do you guys accept chocolate, flowers, coffee, or happy hour coupons?
Me: Uh, we prefer the price quoted on our invoice…
Client: Oh, I know! I just think I need to give you an extra treat for dealing with all this crap.
Editor’s Note: Didn’t see that coming.
Sick day confusion
Urban: 7:15PM “mommy, I just need to sleep.”
Me: “OK, baby, sleep well.” Tuck him in…
Cut to 5 minutes later and he is scream-singing Taylor Swift at the top of his lungs.
If the hat fits
Beringer: turns and stares at man in line at Walgreens. Stares. Stares. “MOMMY!! Look at dat man!”
Me: smiles apologetically at said man. “Mmhmm. He looks like a nice man.”
Beringer: “yeah. He have the coolest hat. He must be going to a really good party.”
Me: “sorry, to him, every hat is a party hat.”
Man: “Well, ma’am,...
March 2013
30 posts
“One eye sees, the other feels.”
– Paul Klee (1879-1940, Switzerland; German/Swiss)
Revelation
Urban: “Mommy, when you’re a Gramma, you’ll still have your tattoos.”
Me: “cool, huh?”
Urban: “My kids are gonna be so lucky…”
Games
Urban: (while watching Project Runway) “Why do people play games to win? Everyone knows games are for FUN.”
Sioux Falls
Beringer: “Mommy, I was sad when you goed to Soup Falls. I camed home and you not here. Soup Falls so far away!! I glad you here now.”
PG
Urban: “hey! What are you watchin?”
Me: “We’ll, I’m not exactly sure.”
Urban: “Can I see it?”
Me: “No.”
Urban: “Yeah, I know, ‘it’s inappropriate for kids’. Sheesh.”
Fashionista pt. 2
Beringer: “I pick my own clothes today.”
Me: “I see that. So you can’t do orange pants with a blue shirt, but you can do purple pants with an orange shirt? That’s pretty fancy…”
Beringer: “It not fancy, Mommy. It FABULOUS!”
Fashionista
Beringer: “I need pants!”
Me: “OK.” Pullout orange sweatpants
Beringer: “Not those! I wearing a BLUE shirt!!”
Me: “we are not leaving the house, and you can sleep in these.”
Beringer: “that is just not OK, Mama.”
Sixteen
Urban: “When I get a car it’s going to be a limousine.”
